~*/ m | c h 3 L L 3 \*~

it's a good good day for me! was talking to iris over the phone...we haven't chat over the phone for so long! i mean..the last time we even chat over the phone was probably during sec sch days........now that we're all working, it's tough... she called me at like....11plus...and we chat til like almost 1am! haha.. she's always writing me notes and cards...and i really miss those times where we write to each other almost everyday! haha.. the latest one...was a birthday card... i was reading thru it briefly when i was with her... but when i came home...i teared when i was reading thru it again..this 13 years of friendship really matters alot to me.. i love her to bits! *muacks*

so i slept at 1 plus...and had to wake up at 730am...but one student called to cancel class......so i slept till a little later... 930am... i really had a good sleep.. after chatting with iris.. *hehe* i'm really happy for her...that all is going well in her life now.. she really deserves it :) went to jurong today...they really liked the table! haha...she was telling me how she fix the table legs wrongly..and the table was wobbly.. and she was cursing that why ikea funitures are so bad...haha..

Also.. i received a weird sms from a certain someone.. i've no idea what you're talking about.. and i dun wish to explain further.. because there's no such issue in the first place.. it'll only lead to more arguments...it's a total waste of time..

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
"It's totally fine being in an open relationship.. it's all about getting to know each other better.. at any point of time, anyone is free to go.. there's no commitments, no promises made.. but when time comes for confessions, it's gonna be tricky.. should not write-off anyone... neither should there be strong emotions attached.." --- from the-wise-one!

i finally understood.....

I hate the way you talk to me
And the way you cut your hair.
I hate the way you drive my car.
I hate it when you stare.

I hate your big dumb combat boots
And the way you read my mind.
I hate you so much it makes me sick --
It even makes me rhyme.

I hate the way you're always right.
I hate it when you lie.
I hate it when you make me laugh -- Even worse when you make me cry.
I hate it that you're not around
And the fact that you didn't call.
But mostly I hate the way
I don't hate you --
Not even close, not even a little bit, not any at all.

Went to look at cars today.. favour Nissan Latio, Subaru Forester, Honda Airwave and of course Volkswagen Beetle.... but my friend said 2nd hand cars are as good as brand new cars...and cheaper..hmm....

they're about the same $range.. and i've made up my mind... Volkswagen Beetle! not cabriolet though..not practical.. Just beetle will do...it's affordable.. but only can get the car end of the year...coz i just paid for my road tax! argh...til 22nd Dec..

I'm off from friday...all the way till following monday...weee~ that's about 11 days off!

Iris came my place last night and stayed on til almost 1am.. woah.. and i really thank God for a friend like her.. she bought me an umbrella! haha.. so light! i'm gonna use it..let's hope it rains everyday!

Surprised to receive an email from XY! I simply miss you both like crazy..if only you're in singapore, i would have zoomed to your place for supper.. like...6 months ago... i guess i gotta wait 6 months later... anyway, i replied your email...go read it! hee~ and hope that i'll be able to fetch you from Changi Airport in Dec with my Beetle! WeeEEEee!~

til then.

was chatting with WJ over supper...til almost 5am!... i'm really grateful i had a good long chat with him last night.. with his "doctrine", it left me with some side effects... not knowing what exactly would happen with the next step i'm gonna take.. Now i know how it feels like to LOVE & HATE the same someone at the same time..

woke up at 8am today... i've a visitor in my room..... stayed till about 10am.. and left.... coz i have a mahjong session going on..... and we played from 12pm to 12am! won about $40.. so shag...

today is the last day that i'm gonna take initiative to ****/*** c',) I'm gonna try not to **** ** with c',) i will try very hard...

i'm going off to cry now.. and after tonight...everything will be back to its original state. i know it will.

It is to be forgotten and its going to be history.

I only want the present.

Love can’t you see I’m alone
Can’t you give this fool a chance
A little love is all I ask - a little kindness
In the night
Please don’t leave me behind
No - don’t tell me love is blind
A little love is all I ask and that is all

Oh love I’ve been searching so long
I’ve been searching high’n’low
A little love is all I ask - a little sadness
When you’re gone
Maybe you need a friend
Only please don’t let’s pretend
A little love is all I ask and that is all

I wanna spread my wings - but I just can’t fly
As a string of pearls and pretty girls go sailing by

Ocean deep - I’m so afraid to show my feelings
I have sailed a million ceilings - in my -
Solitary room
Ocean deep - will I ever find a lover
Maybe she has found another
And as I cry myself to sleep
I know this love of mine I’ll keep - ocean deep

Love can’t you hear when I call
Can’t you hear a word I say
A little love is all I ask
A little feeling when we touch
Why am I still alone?
I’ve got a heart without a home
A little love is all I ask - and that is all

I wanna spread my wings - but I just can’t fly
As a string of pearls and pretty girls go sailing by

Ocean deep - I’m so afraid to show my feelings
I have sailed a million ceilings - in my -
Solitary room
Ocean deep - will I ever find a lover
Maybe she has found another
And as I cry myself to sleep
I know this love of mine I’ll keep - ocean deep

I’m so lonely lonely lonely...
Maybe..

tmr....or rather..today...marks the end of it...finally...after such a long hassle. drained. mentally...emotionally... But i never regret all that had happened.. i'm glad it did happened. I lost much and gained equally much from it.. balanced...break even.. not talking about money..

2 more weeks of June left...it's time to take a break.. July, all starts afresh.. I'm going reschedule my students and make more time for myself..

I think i really deserve a break.. to think thru certain stuff... issues of the heart. I'm struggling.. indecisive.. uncertain..

can't...and unwilling to let go.
暧昧

暧昧让人受尽委屈
找不到相爱的证据
何时该前进何时该放弃
连拥抱都没有勇气

只能陪你到这里
毕竟有些事不可以
超过了友情还不到爱情
远方就要下雨的风景

到底该不该哭泣
想太多是我还想你
我很不服气
也开始怀疑
眼前的人是不是同一个真实的你

暧昧让人受尽委屈
找不到相爱的证据
何时该前进何时该放弃
连拥抱都没有勇气
暧昧让人变得贪心
直到等待失去意义
无奈我和你写不出结局
放遗憾的美丽
停在这里
------------------G.I.V.I.N.G-------------------------
Giving to me is when Auntie offers me a place to stay in her vacant room.

Giving to me is when Uncle cooks lunch for me whenever I'm at home.

Giving to me is when Dad offers to buy me lunch anywhere i want on my birthday.

Giving to me is when Carris buys me Kinder Brueno every now and then.

Giving to me is when Wei Qi drove his Toyota to IKEA to buy my bookcase.

Giving to me is when Auntie bought an aircon for me when she knows i can't tolerate Singapore's weather!

Giving to me is when Mummy nags at me about everything, anything!

Giving to me is when Fanny remembers me when she feels lonely..and pester me to go AMK hub with her.

Giving to me is when my friends offer me a bite from their nice food!

Giving to me is when Uncle Peter cooks me a meal!...whatever it is!

Giving to me is when Grandfather trusts me so much.

Giving to me is when Weijin stocks up my IMPACT sweets whenever it runs out...accordingly to colour! Pink..Purple..Green..Blue..Black..

Giving to me is when QC drives my car whenever i feel lazy...and most important of all....his company.

Giving to me is when Veron gives me small little gifts and her shoulder to cry on.

Giving to me is when Yongjie just keeps quiet about everything, so i dun have care about anything!

Giving to me is when Lorraine never fail to msg me and ask if i'm back home safely.

Giving to me is when Piano teachers nags at me and her patience with me...for taking a year to learn one song!

Giving to me is when you bought me Tempur pillow when you know my neck hurts since God-knows-when.

Giving to me is when Weijie never fail to cheer me up and offer his listening ear to me whenever i need him! Thanks pal!

Giving to me is when even if I meet Iris only once a year, we can still chat about anything.. I really thank God for a friend like her..i love you gal!

Giving to me is when Bernard offers his bed to me when i ran away from home.

Giving to me is when Germin STILL passes crude remarks at me after 14 years...but i just love it!

Giving to me is when Weijin passed me chilli sauce which seems like kilometers away!

Giving to me is God's gift for all the talents and abilities i have!

These are some of the things i remember that people have given in my life. It is not so much the gifts but the giver.I remembered the smiles and the hugs, their hearts and their prayers.

Gifts are always good but what i remembered most are the people behind the gifts, not the gifts itself.