. . .mY bLoG, mY aCcOuNt, mY jOurNaL, mY LoG, mY cHroNoLoGy, mY cOnFeSsiOn, mY LiFe . . .

Tourist!

I felt like a tourist this week...was busy bringing Toru all around..haha.. i've never been around Singapore like that before... i mean, which Singaporean will visit tourist attractions? and i'm telling you...it's not CHEAP! Ta-ka-yi! I actually went to Haw Par Villa a.k.a Tiger Balm Garden! it's my first time there! my mom didn't allow me to go when i was young because of all the buddhist statues and scary stuff... she dun even allow me to watch Sun Wukong and Ji Gong tv programme! so..ya..my first time there! It's very very HOT! and.. the parking is $5 per entry! we only spent like 1 hour or lesser.... there's nothing to see man! so disappointing... end up just waking around and taking photos with any statues or anything we can find.. We rang the bell...once.... dunno what it is for...just ring it... haha~
we ate alot in the morning.... Mee robus, prata...chicken/roast chicken rice...etc... Toru's very full! haha..he's been eating ALOT since he step foot into this little country! so, we had no lunch... went Science Centre after that...the ever-famous body-less image..haha..i always take a picture of this whenever i go Science Centre...wahaha!
No BODY! left Science Centre at about 5pm...went on to have dinner... or rather..lunch.... we had too much in the morning..so, wasn't that hungry.. guess where we went to have lunch? ............. Sakae Sushi at Herens! haha..Wanna let a True Japanese try Japanese food in Singapore... well, he said it was good...similar to the ones in Japan..except that Japan's more expensive...
Took this outside at Herens...outside Sakae... i was off the whole week from Sunday to Saturday... to bring him around.. Went Sentosa... Night Safari....shopping....swimming...all Around Singapore! My dad booked a chalet for me... ya...so was staying there for a few days.. He's always wanting to sleep early..can't tahan past midnight..haha..
but the thing is...he wakes up very early! like...8am? and i tried to wake up at 10am...that's very early you know! too many photos to load....lazy...
Also, we visit sentosa..too many photos, just one from there will do..hee..i think the landscape behind is very pretty! just like the ones in Disneyland..haha..and...the Last one we took...at "you-know-where"... dunno why, he just loves the Merlion..haha..
Met up with QC and Veron..and ya...took neoprints..ate BK... so sweet of them to come and see him before he leaves to Japan tonight.. sent him off to the airport at about 930pm..checked in the luggage...hang around til about 11pm.......... he left... *sobz* miss miss.......

Relationship..

The past few days..i've been so busy...that i just put everything aside and played like crazy.. i just needed that break off from everything.. finally...i have the time to sit here and type this.. haha.. i've come to realise that family plays a very important role in my life.. and i really cannot lose all the kinship with all my relatives..even really distant ones.. and of course, my own family.. I've spent so much time with them these few days.. and i really enjoyed myself..i'm being so real...(not like i'm being fake to friends lah)... being so comfortable...i just enjoyed "letting go" this few days...

I've been so hurt.. by friends and closed ones... i've come to realise who my real friends are...and who are not... it's really sad that i've to classify them this way.. s.u.c.k.s... but that's how things are like now.. True good friends dun keep things from each other... they dun lie...they dun talk bad about each other behind each other's back...
they share about everything...they bitch to each other.. snatch each other's food.. stay over at each other's place and have pillow fight.. scold you.. nags at you.. and trust you. I often place friendship above all others.. and try to prove to my mom that friends are forever.. but it seems like she's "eaten more rice than i've eaten salt"... friends are indeed not forever...and i'm very upset about it... i'm so afraid to trust friends again..

now....Family matters...............

Toru in Singapore!!

went to Grandparents place on Sat night.. was so eggcited to see my Jap cousin! the last time i saw him...was...when i was 6 years old......so... it's about 17 years since i last met him...really wondered how he looked like! haha.. anyway, i spent the last 3 days with him...and will spend the next 4 days with him too...before he goes back to Japan...i think i'm gonna miss him like crazy!

supposed to swim with him today..went to meet him at downtown east(currently putting up at chalet), but only to find out that my aunt wants to bring him out for lunch, to meet some of her girlfriends...and asked me along...so, we went to Paragon for chinese cruisine... ate alot man! haha..toru's very scared when everyone give him food..haha.. we left the "o-ba-sangs" to gossip..and both of us went shopping! went to Suntec.. went Carrefour...nothing much..he wanted to see electronics stuff, so brought him to COURTS..ya, and on the way...we passed by Music Clef..and saw a drum set! We went him, and i told him to try...he damn shy can! haha..in the end, the staff there actually offered a studio for him to play for awhile knowing he's from Japan! Thanks!

now i know..how good he is! he studied drums for 3 years, and went Hollywood for students exchange...wow..learnt a few rhythms from him..though i learnt drums before, but it's totally far off as compared to him man! woah!

Went on to shop..and he bought me a soft toy! actually i really dun want, but he insisted..he just stood there and refuse to move til i agreed...fine...so we went to a bear workshop..from choosing skin...to stuffing fur...to inserting heart with heart-beat..to cleaning up..then dressing up..finally......

He wanted to doggy to remind me of him...so i got the doggy a pair of jeans..and he select a pink shirt...coz.....he LIKES pink! just like me! woah! haha..
It even has a birth certificate! It's name is Happy, and it's birthday is on 26th June 2007 :) It's height is 43cm...and weight is 283 grams...fur colour:cream and brown... eye colour:brown.... The fascinating thing about Happy is that, there is a barcode tag in its stomach...so if Happy ever gets lost, and someone were to return him to the shop at Suntec, they'll scan his stomach and will be able to track where i stay and return Happy back to my house! woah! Cool right!

then...went to eat my Yummi Yoghurt...die die must eat whenever i go suntec! haha.. went to fountain of wealth...walk 3 rounds...then went to Sim Lim....Toru likes IT stuff........ yepz...so after Sim Lim, we went Cineleisure for a game of Pool... then , return him to his mummy..haha..for more "o-ba-sang"s gathering...haha...before he got off my car, he gave me the "sian" face..haha...think he just cannot tolerate womens' gossiping and 38-ness! haha..

anyhow, will get to see him tmr again! weeEeE~ less than 4 more days before he returns to Japan... so sad... i'll get him something nice before he goes back...wonder what i should get.....

From Certain Someone....

"鱼对水说:我哭了,但是你不会看见我的眼泪,因为我在水中。水对鱼说:我可以看见你的眼泪,因为你在我心中!"

T.I.R.E.D

Was on the phone with a friend from 130am all the way til 7am! Freak! almost 6 hours! dunno how i can tahan man! but it's been a long time since i've done this! wahaha~ it's really a test of stamina wor! keke.. i'm having a bad sore-throat now..for talking too much at one go! ooPS!

had lesson from 11am to 2pm..then went to meet another friend at junction 8.. supposed to help this friend choose a present for a friend..who is a dragon-boater...female.. big size..haha..how to choose? wanted to get cap..water bottle..et.c..in the end, got a piggy massager from Action City! wahaha.. was there from 3pm til 7pm... at delifrance...eating my breakfast/lunch/dinner.. and i'm so DISAPPOINTED with the service..i'll never go there again! then...friend came my place.. to check out my new room! haha.. played with psp.. etc... and left at 8pm.. coz i gotta lend my car to someone in need..

Japan Aunt and Cousin is in Singapore already..currently staying at hotel..but will be checking in on sunday...at Downtown East...dad booked a chalet alongside with aunt's... wanted to get another one...anyway... ya.. i'm off for the week! WeEeE~

I recieved an email!! thanks pal! got back to me once his exams finished... tell me when you'll be available..i'll fly over to see you! Miss yA~

Thanks for that 'warning' 'Nerd...

***** WHAT DOES LOVE MEANS? *****

i blog this long long ago...on 8th May 2004! was reading thru it...found it so sweet!.....

Rebecca - age 8.
"When someone loves you, the way they say your name is different. You know that your name is safe in their mouth."

Billy - age 4.
"Love is when a girl puts on perfume and a boy puts on shaving cologne and they go out and smell each other."

Karl - age 5.
"Love is when you go out to eat and give somebody most of your French fries without making them give you any of theirs."

Chrisy - age 6.
"Love is what makes you smile when you're tired."

Terri - age 4.
"Love is when my mommy makes coffee for my daddy and she takes a sip before giving it to him, to make sure taste is OK."

Danny - age 7.
"Love is what's in the room with you at Christmas if you stop opening presents and listen."

Bobby - age 7. (Wow!)
"If you want to learn to love better, you should start with a friend who you hate."

Nikka - age 6.
"Love is when you tell a guy you like his shirt,then he wears it everyday."

Noelle - age 7.
"Love is like a little old woman and a little old man who are still friends even after they know each other so well."

Tommy - age 6.
"During my piano recital, I was on a stage and I was scared. I looked at all the people watching me and saw my daddy waving and smiling. He was the only one doing that. I wasn't scared anymore."

Cindy - age 8.
"Love is when your puppy licks your face even after you left him alone all day."

Mary Ann - age 4. *hahaha*
"I know my older sister loves me because she gives me all her old clothes and has to go out and buy new ones."

Jessica - age 8.
"My mommy loves me more than anybody. You don't see anyone else kissing me to sleep at night."

~*~*~*~* I Like This Best! *~*~*~*~

Lauren - age 4.
"You really shouldn't say 'I love you' unless you mean it. But if you mean it, you should say it a lot. People forget."

Accept me for who i am if you really love me, if you can't...others will.

I Love My Day!

it's a good good day for me! was talking to iris over the phone...we haven't chat over the phone for so long! i mean..the last time we even chat over the phone was probably during sec sch days........now that we're all working, it's tough... she called me at like....11plus...and we chat til like almost 1am! haha.. she's always writing me notes and cards...and i really miss those times where we write to each other almost everyday! haha.. the latest one...was a birthday card... i was reading thru it briefly when i was with her... but when i came home...i teared when i was reading thru it again..this 13 years of friendship really matters alot to me.. i love her to bits! *muacks*

so i slept at 1 plus...and had to wake up at 730am...but one student called to cancel class......so i slept till a little later... 930am... i really had a good sleep.. after chatting with iris.. *hehe* i'm really happy for her...that all is going well in her life now.. she really deserves it :) went to jurong today...they really liked the table! haha...she was telling me how she fix the table legs wrongly..and the table was wobbly.. and she was cursing that why ikea funitures are so bad...haha..

Also.. i received a weird sms from a certain someone.. i've no idea what you're talking about.. and i dun wish to explain further.. because there's no such issue in the first place.. it'll only lead to more arguments...it's a total waste of time..

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
"It's totally fine being in an open relationship.. it's all about getting to know each other better.. at any point of time, anyone is free to go.. there's no commitments, no promises made.. but when time comes for confessions, it's gonna be tricky.. should not write-off anyone... neither should there be strong emotions attached.." --- from the-wise-one!

i finally understood.....

I hate the way you talk to me
And the way you cut your hair.
I hate the way you drive my car.
I hate it when you stare.

I hate your big dumb combat boots
And the way you read my mind.
I hate you so much it makes me sick --
It even makes me rhyme.

I hate the way you're always right.
I hate it when you lie.
I hate it when you make me laugh -- Even worse when you make me cry.
I hate it that you're not around
And the fact that you didn't call.
But mostly I hate the way
I don't hate you --
Not even close, not even a little bit, not any at all.

Car

Went to look at cars today.. favour Nissan Latio, Subaru Forester, Honda Airwave and of course Volkswagen Beetle.... but my friend said 2nd hand cars are as good as brand new cars...and cheaper..hmm....

they're about the same $range.. and i've made up my mind... Volkswagen Beetle! not cabriolet though..not practical.. Just beetle will do...it's affordable.. but only can get the car end of the year...coz i just paid for my road tax! argh...til 22nd Dec..

I'm off from friday...all the way till following monday...weee~ that's about 11 days off!

Iris came my place last night and stayed on til almost 1am.. woah.. and i really thank God for a friend like her.. she bought me an umbrella! haha.. so light! i'm gonna use it..let's hope it rains everyday!

Surprised to receive an email from XY! I simply miss you both like crazy..if only you're in singapore, i would have zoomed to your place for supper.. like...6 months ago... i guess i gotta wait 6 months later... anyway, i replied your email...go read it! hee~ and hope that i'll be able to fetch you from Changi Airport in Dec with my Beetle! WeeEEEee!~

til then.

Down.

was chatting with WJ over supper...til almost 5am!... i'm really grateful i had a good long chat with him last night.. with his "doctrine", it left me with some side effects... not knowing what exactly would happen with the next step i'm gonna take.. Now i know how it feels like to LOVE & HATE the same someone at the same time..

woke up at 8am today... i've a visitor in my room..... stayed till about 10am.. and left.... coz i have a mahjong session going on..... and we played from 12pm to 12am! won about $40.. so shag...

today is the last day that i'm gonna take initiative to ****/*** c',) I'm gonna try not to **** ** with c',) i will try very hard...

i'm going off to cry now.. and after tonight...everything will be back to its original state. i know it will.

It is to be forgotten and its going to be history.

I only want the present.

Ocean Deep

Love can’t you see I’m alone
Can’t you give this fool a chance
A little love is all I ask - a little kindness
In the night
Please don’t leave me behind
No - don’t tell me love is blind
A little love is all I ask and that is all

Oh love I’ve been searching so long
I’ve been searching high’n’low
A little love is all I ask - a little sadness
When you’re gone
Maybe you need a friend
Only please don’t let’s pretend
A little love is all I ask and that is all

I wanna spread my wings - but I just can’t fly
As a string of pearls and pretty girls go sailing by

Ocean deep - I’m so afraid to show my feelings
I have sailed a million ceilings - in my -
Solitary room
Ocean deep - will I ever find a lover
Maybe she has found another
And as I cry myself to sleep
I know this love of mine I’ll keep - ocean deep

Love can’t you hear when I call
Can’t you hear a word I say
A little love is all I ask
A little feeling when we touch
Why am I still alone?
I’ve got a heart without a home
A little love is all I ask - and that is all

I wanna spread my wings - but I just can’t fly
As a string of pearls and pretty girls go sailing by

Ocean deep - I’m so afraid to show my feelings
I have sailed a million ceilings - in my -
Solitary room
Ocean deep - will I ever find a lover
Maybe she has found another
And as I cry myself to sleep
I know this love of mine I’ll keep - ocean deep

I’m so lonely lonely lonely...
Maybe..

Where the chapter 'ends'

tmr....or rather..today...marks the end of it...finally...after such a long hassle. drained. mentally...emotionally... But i never regret all that had happened.. i'm glad it did happened. I lost much and gained equally much from it.. balanced...break even.. not talking about money..

2 more weeks of June left...it's time to take a break.. July, all starts afresh.. I'm going reschedule my students and make more time for myself..

I think i really deserve a break.. to think thru certain stuff... issues of the heart. I'm struggling.. indecisive.. uncertain..

can't...and unwilling to let go.
暧昧

暧昧

暧昧让人受尽委屈
找不到相爱的证据
何时该前进何时该放弃
连拥抱都没有勇气

只能陪你到这里
毕竟有些事不可以
超过了友情还不到爱情
远方就要下雨的风景

到底该不该哭泣
想太多是我还想你
我很不服气
也开始怀疑
眼前的人是不是同一个真实的你

暧昧让人受尽委屈
找不到相爱的证据
何时该前进何时该放弃
连拥抱都没有勇气
暧昧让人变得贪心
直到等待失去意义
无奈我和你写不出结局
放遗憾的美丽
停在这里
------------------G.I.V.I.N.G-------------------------
Giving to me is when Auntie offers me a place to stay in her vacant room.

Giving to me is when Uncle cooks lunch for me whenever I'm at home.

Giving to me is when Dad offers to buy me lunch anywhere i want on my birthday.

Giving to me is when Carris buys me Kinder Brueno every now and then.

Giving to me is when Wei Qi drove his Toyota to IKEA to buy my bookcase.

Giving to me is when Auntie bought an aircon for me when she knows i can't tolerate Singapore's weather!

Giving to me is when Mummy nags at me about everything, anything!

Giving to me is when Fanny remembers me when she feels lonely..and pester me to go AMK hub with her.

Giving to me is when my friends offer me a bite from their nice food!

Giving to me is when Uncle Peter cooks me a meal!...whatever it is!

Giving to me is when Grandfather trusts me so much.

Giving to me is when Weijin stocks up my IMPACT sweets whenever it runs out...accordingly to colour! Pink..Purple..Green..Blue..Black..

Giving to me is when QC drives my car whenever i feel lazy...and most important of all....his company.

Giving to me is when Veron gives me small little gifts and her shoulder to cry on.

Giving to me is when Yongjie just keeps quiet about everything, so i dun have care about anything!

Giving to me is when Lorraine never fail to msg me and ask if i'm back home safely.

Giving to me is when Piano teachers nags at me and her patience with me...for taking a year to learn one song!

Giving to me is when you bought me Tempur pillow when you know my neck hurts since God-knows-when.

Giving to me is when Weijie never fail to cheer me up and offer his listening ear to me whenever i need him! Thanks pal!

Giving to me is when even if I meet Iris only once a year, we can still chat about anything.. I really thank God for a friend like her..i love you gal!

Giving to me is when Bernard offers his bed to me when i ran away from home.

Giving to me is when Germin STILL passes crude remarks at me after 14 years...but i just love it!

Giving to me is when Weijin passed me chilli sauce which seems like kilometers away!

Giving to me is God's gift for all the talents and abilities i have!

These are some of the things i remember that people have given in my life. It is not so much the gifts but the giver.I remembered the smiles and the hugs, their hearts and their prayers.

Gifts are always good but what i remembered most are the people behind the gifts, not the gifts itself.

 
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