~*/ m | c h 3 L L 3 \*~

I'm a selfish ass who wants the whole world to listen to my command, and i wanna take control of everything... everyone's life... i take away freedom... i wish to dominate every soul.. Shit..i'm over doing.. He can't take it.. Blame who but myself... I'm wrong to bother so much about his affairs.. In future, i should just leave him alone...and let him do whatever he wants.. whether he wanna wear that pink shirt or put on back that rusty silver ring or theirs, it's none of my business.. Nah, i won't say none of my business...i would say...even if he wears THAT pink shirt or put on back that ring, i am supposed to 'trust' him.. ya, i hope i really can..

He's feeling a TOTAL LOST OF FREEDOM... and i'm ruling his life.. WoNdErFoOL.. i'm controlling it..it's all in my hands.. Fine, i'll let go.. Let LooSe.. Fly away~

Damn me.. i ate lunch at Chantalle's house, and i pretended that i was hungry and had not eaten anything so as to find an excuse to go NYP to eat with him.. to see him... Right after Chantalle's lesson at 1130am, i could just go home and play Digby's Doughnut... instead, i took a cab down to J8, wanting to get a formal shirt for him.. so i could pass it to him when i meet him later at NYP... turned down WildWildWet appointment with Gilbert just to lunch with him.. called me at 12pm and told me to be down at NYP right away coz he's hungry.. God, if only i could be at 2 places at a time.. Think i know teleporting power? Sui chuan sui dao? Anyway.. i never got that pink shirt in the end, afraid i'll get the wrong size.. ShiT, why am i worrying so much? worrying about him not having enough formal shirts to wear... why am i caring so much about him? bought him a wallet, watch, shirts, lighter, ring etc..... i mean, not that i'm calculative or watsoever shit... but would anybody in the right mind spend so much on somebody? what i'm trying to get across here is that i dun just buy wallets and watches for Tom, Dick & Harry..i only do such stuff for my Toh Jiayi....

Ya...and all those h.i.s.t.o.r.y about Hanxin, Weiting & Regina... i'm a very str-8 forward person...just tell me what you HATE about me.. i'll give you a total new self in a minute.. I haven't thrown away my stuff from h.i.s.t.o.r.y... so, you don't need to... oh ya, i'm not in the right position and i'm not FIT to COMMAND you to do so when i MYSELF have NOT done so..

I've just shedded some skin... it's gone... and my heart's broken... never felt such a sharp pain before... i'm a totally new self now...